'Seeing the Wounded Self' – Good Morning, Monster
A person’s journey to adulthood is really a process of laying down defenses.
Though we appear grown, in many ways we remain the “vulnerable child” of our past, responding to the world just as we did in early childhood.
A Story
Have you ever recognized in yourself a trait you loathe yet can’t shake? Where did it come from?
Just the other day I watched a little boy at a fast-food restaurant beg for another packet of ketchup. His father, adopting a stern voice, said, “I don’t like cowards,” urging him to ask the counter attendant himself. The boy hesitated, fought with himself, then burst into tears.
That scene reminded me of the first visitor in Good Morning, Monster. In therapy, Laura recalled the time, at age four, she tumbled down the stairs; her leg cut by metal, her father took her to the hospital and praised her toughness:
“You’re my daughter—strong as a horse, never making a sound.”
That moment taught her:
“Only by being silent and strong can one win love and care; everyone must earn the right to be loved.”
Over time, unconditional love faded from Laura’s mind. As an adult—in both work and relationships—she armored herself by over-accommodating others, believing this was the only way to keep her place in people’s hearts.
Laying Down the Armor
In childhood, we wear many armors to cope with the world’s uncontrollable threats. Some become quiet, others perform, some resist, some please. But as we grow, these armors no longer fit; we must shed them for truer, better ones.
Yet old armor can fuse to our skin, and removing it hurts terribly. Many cling to past pain rather than face that agony. But wounds left covered too long fester. As the book says:
“Life through a jungle can be a ride in a fast car for some, but for others it demands hacking a path with an axe.”
The former are lucky; the latter become their own heroes.
We each harbor memories we dread to revisit—shame, trauma, regret. Good Morning, Monster may sound like a fairy tale, but it recounts five of Catherine Gildiner’s most harrowing therapy cases—true stories of abandoned children, abuse survivors, and those who bore their armors into adulthood. Only through the therapist’s guidance could they, piece by painful piece, remove that armor, finally emerging as fully realized adults.
Your own scars may need the mirror of another’s story to heal. That is the power of this book.
Finally, a line from the book for you:
——Good Morning, Monster
Good Morning, Monster
- Author: Catherine Gildiner
- First published: September 3, 2019
- Publisher: Viking
— From @不略
