"Embracing Regret" - The Midnight Library
The process of maturing is, in fact, a journey toward learning how to confront regret.
This book has sold over 10 million copies worldwide and is celebrated as a phenomenon—a healing novel that mends broken lives.
Story Overview
In the book, author Matt Haig tells the story of a girl named Nora who decides to end her life.
Her life is marred by successive hardships: her beloved cat, her sole companion, is fatally hit by a car; she is dismissed from her job; her closest friendship falls apart; even her brother abandons her; and so on. Looking back on her life, she finds nothing but regret—as if joy had never graced her existence. Believing that she is superfluous in this world, she ingests pills one dark night, leaves a suicide note, and awaits the embrace of death.
In a haze, her consciousness finds itself in a wondrous library. The librarian explains that this library houses countless books, each one chronicling a possible life she might have lived. By opening any book, she can step into an entirely new life. And so, Nora begins to choose the life she wants.
At one time, she yearned to open a tavern with her boyfriend. But when she steps into that reality, she finds her boyfriend entangled in an affair with the tavern waitress. Next, she opts for a life in which her beloved cat is spared from a fatal accident, a life in which she becomes a swimming champion, a life in which she becomes a glaciologist… But regardless of her choices, every life is fraught with disappointment, surprises, and regret.
At that moment, the librarian tells her:
Facing Regret
The process of growing up—or what we call maturing—is really about learning how to face regret.
Throughout life, you are bound to experience academic failures, heartbreaks, and career setbacks. The more you avoid confronting them, the more deeply they will hurt you. Some complain about the hardships of starting a business, others lament that their year-end bonuses fall short of expectations, and some grumble that married life isn’t as fulfilling as they imagined.
We seem to fixate on a future we once envisioned but that never materializes. Meanwhile, we continuously attempt to change outcomes that are already set in stone. Regret is like a black hole, swallowing up the potential of all future possibilities. Yet everything that happens holds meaning. Regret brings pain, but it also teaches acceptance and gratitude.
As the book says:
Conclusion
Matt Haig, the author of this book, began writing after being stricken by depression at the age of 24—a period marked by a prolonged internal struggle with regret. His writing ultimately saved his life. Everyone dreams of restarting their life, but as you'll come to understand from this book, a life that never learns to embrace regret will always be fragmented. As long as we live, pain and regret are inevitable. Yet, we always have a choice. If we fixate solely on the roads not taken, continually idealizing them, we only magnify the pain brought on by regret.
The book states:
Keep your eyes forward and focus on the road you are choosing; at its end, there will surely be surprises. If you find yourself losing the strength to fight through life, this book may help you rise from your lowest point. I highly recommend it.
Finally, here is a quote from the book to conclude today's reading:
— The Midnight Library
The Midnight Library
- Author: [UK] Matt Haig
- Translator: Liang Songyu
- Publication Year: 2025.01
- Category: Novel
— From @不略
